Tonight, I had a special date night with Jake. Jay took Addi out on a date, and I took Jake out on a date. I really didn't realize how much I needed that one-on-one time with him until we went out. I am with my kids all day everyday, and there are times when I feel like they might make me crazy. I have been feeling like that lately with Jake and really not being the kind of mom that I want to be or should be. I have been short on patience and quick to get irritated and speak harshly. I have been seeing his flaws when I look at him, rather than seeing the wonderful things about him. But, tonight, I was reminded of the absolutely amazing kid that he is.
He was so excited to go out with just the two of us and was so focused on trying to be a good date. It was adorable. He would run up ahead of me to open all of my doors, and any time that I asked him his preference on something, he would say, "Well, what do you want?" When we first got in the car, he asked if we could stop at Starbucks on our way to wherever we were going. He had taken $5 of his money and had decided that he wanted to stop and get me the coffee drink that I like. He kept asking me to remind him what it was called so that he could order it for me when we got there. It really melted my heart to see him so focused on me and on wanting to make the night special for me, rather than being focused on himself. Later I found out from Jay that he had wanted to bring all of his money and spend it all on me to take me out, but Jay had told him that $5 would be good. And, when I say, "all of his money," that is a big deal. He earns money by collecting bottles to recycle and saves and saves until he has enough money to buy some new lego set or something. This time, he has set his biggest goal yet and is saving for Disneyland passes...and not just one, but two. We told him that if he wants a pass, he has to save enough for two passes - one for him, and one for someone who can take him. Recycling is a great way for him to earn money for those things, but it is certainly not a job that allows him to get rich quick. He currently has $105 saved toward the passes, and that has taken him months. And he still has a long way to go.
So, all that to say, the fact that he wanted to spend all of his money on me, money which he has worked for and earned himself and is saving for something specific, was such an unselfish act that it blew me away. The kid is amazing, and I needed this individual time with him to be reminded of that.
He was so excited to go out with just the two of us and was so focused on trying to be a good date. It was adorable. He would run up ahead of me to open all of my doors, and any time that I asked him his preference on something, he would say, "Well, what do you want?" When we first got in the car, he asked if we could stop at Starbucks on our way to wherever we were going. He had taken $5 of his money and had decided that he wanted to stop and get me the coffee drink that I like. He kept asking me to remind him what it was called so that he could order it for me when we got there. It really melted my heart to see him so focused on me and on wanting to make the night special for me, rather than being focused on himself. Later I found out from Jay that he had wanted to bring all of his money and spend it all on me to take me out, but Jay had told him that $5 would be good. And, when I say, "all of his money," that is a big deal. He earns money by collecting bottles to recycle and saves and saves until he has enough money to buy some new lego set or something. This time, he has set his biggest goal yet and is saving for Disneyland passes...and not just one, but two. We told him that if he wants a pass, he has to save enough for two passes - one for him, and one for someone who can take him. Recycling is a great way for him to earn money for those things, but it is certainly not a job that allows him to get rich quick. He currently has $105 saved toward the passes, and that has taken him months. And he still has a long way to go.
So, all that to say, the fact that he wanted to spend all of his money on me, money which he has worked for and earned himself and is saving for something specific, was such an unselfish act that it blew me away. The kid is amazing, and I needed this individual time with him to be reminded of that.
Our night went like this. We first stopped at the coffee shop so that he could buy me my coffee; from there to Rubios for dinner; and then from dinner to bowling, which he loved. When we left there, he said, "We're still on our date, right?" I told him that we were and he said, "Good, because next I think we should go home and drink hot chocolate and play some games so that our date won't be over yet." So that's what we did. He must have thanked me ten times for taking him bowling and told me another ten times how much he liked being out with just me. I kid you not, the words even came out of his mouth at the end of the night (this will be a run-on sentence because I am quoting him!), "One of my favorite things about tonight was buying you the coffee because you were so excited when you found out I was spending my own money on it, and so it made me really happy because you were so happy."
I want to try to keep replaying tonight in my head. Tomorrow, when he can't control the volume of his voice, and when he gets upset because Addi's not playing the game the right way, and when he breaks down about something not going the way he wants it to go, I want to remember that those flaws are not who he is. Who he is is a kind-hearted, generous, unbelievably amazing boy, and I am so blessed to be his mom.
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